Leaving 2011 behind, approaching 2012..

2012 is coming..new resolutions, not really...Just get good results for 'O's and be in good poly. 
1. Behave better in front of the elders.
2. Spend more time w God. 
3. I really don't know actually cause 2012..I don't know my plans..

Mnet Asian Music Awards 2011 in Singapore!!!

Mnet PD's choice Awards - YB Find the Dream Breaker 
Best Asian Artist China - Jane Zhang Ling Ying 
Style in Music - Seo In Young Into The Rhythm 
Singapore's Choice - SuperJunior Mr. Simple 
Hottest Asian Artist - KODA KUMI Bling Bling Bling 
Best New Asian Artist(Group) - AZIATIX Go
Best New Asian Artist(Solo) - VISION WEI Run Away 
Best Vocal Performance Group - 2NE1 Lonely 
Best O.S.T - Back Ji Young That Woman (Secret Garden OST) 
Best Music Video - BIGBANG Love Song 
Best Band Performance - CNBLUE Intuition 
Best Rap Performance - LEESSANG Turned off the TV 
Best Vocal Performance Solo - IU Good Day 
Best Dance Performance(solo) - Hyun-A Bubble Pop 
Best Dance Performance(Male Group) - BEAST Fiction 
Best Dance Performance(Female Group) - miss A Good-bye Baby 
Best Male Group - SuperJunior Mr. Simple 
Best Female Group - Girls' Generation The Boys 
Best Male Artist - Kim Hyun Joong Break Down 
Best Female Artist - Baek Ji Young Ordinariness 
Best New Male Artist - Huh Gak hello 
Best New Female Artist - A Pink I Don’t Know
__________________________________________________________________________________
Song of the Year - 2NE1 I Am the Best
Artist of the Year - Girls' Generation The Boys
Album of the Year - SuperJunior Mr. Simple
10:00PM








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Everything is still cool as before, no talks no nothing. Give small talks but none response. 
Zhu-ka-ehyo, to my dearest Cousin for today it's her last day of 'A' Levels! Eye control got better but the problem is still there...hais, I really see no point in continuing the appointments ><
Feel like a stalker sometimes when I look at your social networking websites to know your updates...well whatever, don't care what you say right now. I just want...nvm


Well, I guess that's all for now...

change

Went for the SKINHUB appointment w siyuan..dad sent us there :)

After that went to look for dress. Found a black one...body fit kind...

Bought dye and went siyuan's house to change the colour of my hair :)

It turns out not exactly what I expected. It was supposed to be reddish brown but it looks like bright brown :X

Went I reach home no one realise until just now my cousin(guy) ask "you dye hair ar?" Hais....got nagged a little. Bad comments received from my aunt of the dress I bought :(

I guess I'll be going out again....

screwed up

I can't believe that I screwed up so much stuff.... its like now I'm lost...I don't know what to do now...God, a little help here!!!

Confronted jarrod and I realise that to him I'm a total flirt....a guy Hunter....I don't know that it'll turn out this way....yet I don't know how to explain myself....I am not finding new guys! I know whatever I say now he no longer believes... okay so I'm like a slut now? And the people I know is not nothing to me okay! Jarrod, you...hais...nvm

Terry after......now thinks I'm probing into his personal life?! What the fuck! I'm only concern as a friend and gentle reminder that he should not be too engrossed until forget his date....is that wrong? And he's like saying that I'm not supposed to talk about the things on his post. Arghh whatever!

Males think so differently from females that often creates misunderstanding? Ahhh whatever? It's just a matter of whether you want to understand ornot...

For me I always screwed up relations with people because of this, why is it always like this?

I feel so terrible that I can't feel sharp pain everywhere...

resolved...i think

I'm not that sure, after all that long long messages, everything becomes a little awkward...plus I can and I will accept that if we are meant to be friends, so be it...because it's no rush... You're right, like & love are 2 different words...

With you, I can voice out everything I want to, thus makes even more open & straightforward...whatever it is this is just it... I don't have to think too much after knowing your side...

disappointed..

I'm so pissed yet there's nothing I could do...seriously!!

You and your unsure feeling has caused me to feel something for you...I'm sure you don't know that....

I really don't know where I get the courage to be so straightforward to you and ask if you still like me ornot...OMG!!! But the fact that you still want to talk to me cause you treat me as a friend really upsets me. You know it made me more upset when I said you don't have to explain it to me but you said because I'm your friend so you want to tell me.
When I ask what do you like about her you said you like her probably because she understand you without you saying anything?! You got to be kidding! Arghh!!! Whatever! I really feel like a pathetic person....

After I felt something for you, you became like this....what is this?!

唯爱 lyrics

想 你 的 心 从 未 改 变 依 然 还 爱 你
xiǎng nǐ de xīn cóng wèi gǎi biàn yī rán hái ài nǐ
我 的 心 跳 从 这 一 刻 只 为 了 你 呼 吸
wǒ de xīn tiào cóng zhè yí kè zhǐ wèi le nǐ hū xī
分 离 让 我 尝 尽 相 思 的 苦
fēn lí ràng wǒ cháng jìn xiāng sī de kǔ
遗 忘 该 如 何 忘 记
yí wàng gāi rú hé wàng jì
在 无 人 的 漆 黑 夜 晚 总 会 想 起 你
zài wú rén de qī hēi yè wǎn zǒng huì xiǎng qǐ nǐ
你 的 爱 曾 经 那 麽 熟 悉 刻 骨 又 铭 心
nǐ de ài céng jīng nà me shú xī kè gǔ yòu míng xīn
拥 抱 我 怎 能 将 你 放 弃
yōng bào wǒ zěn néng jiāng nǐ fàng qì
不 要 让 我 失 去 你
bú yào ràng wǒ shī qù nǐ
将 我 贪 婪 的 爱 摧 毁 了 撕 裂 了 我 的 心
jiāng wǒ tān lán de ài cuī huǐ le sī liè le wǒ de xīn
我 只 要 在 你 怀 里 永 不 分 离
wǒ zhǐ yào zài nǐ huái lǐ yǒng bù fēn lí
只 要 坚 守 诺 言 爱 就 不 会 脆 弱
zhǐ yào jiān shǒu nuò yán ài jiù bú huì cuì ruò
( 乞 求 真 爱 坚 持 到 底 我 爱 你 )
( qǐ qiú zhēn ài jiān chí dào dǐ wǒ ài nǐ )
如 果 是 你 我 想 再 说 我 爱 你
rú guǒ shì nǐ wǒ xiǎng zài shuō wǒ ài nǐ
在 无 人 的 漆 黑 夜 晚 总 会 想 起 你
zài wú rén de qī hēi yè wǎn zǒng huì xiǎng qǐ nǐ
你 的 爱 曾 经 那 麽 熟 悉 刻 骨 又 铭 心
nǐ de ài céng jīng nà me shú xī kè gǔ yòu míng xīn
拥 抱 我 怎 能 将 你 放 弃
yōng bào wǒ zěn néng jiāng nǐ fàng qì
不 要 让 我 失 去 你
bú yào ràng wǒ shī qù nǐ
将 我 贪 婪 的 爱 摧 毁 了 撕 裂 了 我 的 心
jiāng wǒ tān lán de ài cuī huǐ le sī liè le wǒ de xīn
我 只 要 在 你 怀 里 永 不 分 离
wǒ zhǐ yào zài nǐ huái lǐ yǒng bù fēn lí
只 要 坚 守 诺 言 爱 就 不 会 脆 弱
zhǐ yào jiān shǒu nuò yán ài jiù bú huì cuì ruò
( 乞 求 真 爱 坚 持 到 底 我 爱 你 )
( qǐ qiú zhēn ài jiān chí dào dǐ wǒ ài nǐ )
如 果 是 你 我 想 再 说 我 爱 你
rú guǒ shì nǐ wǒ xiǎng zài shuō wǒ ài nǐ

I love the lyrics...I don't know why either...

sweetness

Despite of his weariness, he drove me back to woodlands. He even said he don't know why he did that. But I told him it was very sweet of him...
After school went to consult Miss Wong... Mole concept you'll never defeat me again!!! Muahaha :P
Went church to study w Serene then went over to Subway to meet Cassie, PengHwee and Howard to continue my Physics...
It became late and Terry was going back Hillview so I thought....and he actually agreed :P

And the story goes on....Till next time...

Movies @ LidoiMAX

REAL STEEL is AWESOME!!!!!

Highly recommended to watch!!!! Watched it with Terry @ Lido Shaw iMAX technology. :P Hmm kenna teased by friends...

He just came back from Indonesia yesterday. The timing I messaged him is exactly when he landed, so coincidental! Hmmm well, I admit that I kinda of miss him... BUT BUT BUT he's just a brother to me! SERIOUS!! Plus, I can't like him...

I think he forgot to pass me the shell he promised to give...I'll get it from him soon :P

Birthday Celebrations w Terry

Went church in the morning to do preparations for tomorrow's Brothers' Day. 


Met up w Terry after that. Ate lunch @ Subway and saw Agnes and Shini... 


Went ECP in his new car, very surprised!!! hahahs, my first time on a friend's car. We reached there within 30min. Fast huhh! At first I thought we are taking public transport there. Hehe... We start roller blading once we reached there... Lots of chats and laughter... It was really nice, talking to him, just like talking to a brother. &&& we have so much in common. So much fun.. Fall down 4 times, the last time was the most impact-full one...Still hurting.. Sat down and he played guitar for me to hear. SWEET! On the way home, he bought fries and drinks at the drive-thru. Because he was driving, I fed him. Awkward...hahahs After blading we decided to go to his house to play with his 3big dogs. They very long for the affection that they jump over me and make me fall to the ground so that they can get all over me... Ah Black, Lexus, and ___... i forgot the last one, she's the most nice one, least aggressive :) Ate dinner @ his house, feel awkward though.


He fetch me home after that... Felt sweet. Don't worry, he's just like a brother to me only...

happiness +sadness = sad life

Wore the contact lens that I bought from Yiling's cousin. Got complimented from it :P Soooo happy. It looked nice too!! 


 Today is the date of submissionnof art... Saw many nice pieces. As I see one, my heart is stunk once.. All were super amazing that it will be difficult to get an 'A'. There goes my A1 :'((( 


 As see Serene one day get closer to them, the more I feel uncomfortable about it. I know that she had the right to make new friends but her actions just... She's nonlonger the Serene I knew few years ago... 熟悉的陌生人. I just can't explain this feeling...Hais... 


Just now, I had a lot of things in mind, but it's empty now...Hais 

SHINee!!!! ❤❤❤!!!

Just reached home from the concert!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! This was the first time I see them so close, without any screen blocking... Love SHINee❤!!! They promised to come back again... Never regret going!!! SHINee,Sarang-heyo!!!
❤Minho,❤KEY,❤Jonghyun,❤Taemin,❤Onew!!! Thanks for coming!!!


Actually I go with a lot of disagreement. My family did not want me to spend so much time on this kind of thing. Plus they say I don't study; but the thing is when I study, did they see?!NOOOOO!! Hmmm, September's holiday is ending and I finished my ART P1 on 09/09! Yeahhhhhh!!!!!

life...HAIS

I'm really grateful that you were willing to take in my brother and I but I really don't like the method you use in your family on me. I don't say it because I didn't want to hurt you. The more you want to control me, the more I want to escape. You are very nice, to mr you are a great aunt, really. Your method just don't work, it'll just tire yourself and suffocate me. Your daughter can, I can't. You arrange everything for me, I dont like. The only way I release now is to shop; because there's no one people can stop. However, I'm not rich, my dad have to work doubly hard. I know he's tired. But I can't stop spending!! No money, no freedom... This just sucks!! Screw it man!

Tired & Un-glamorous

Today's lessons are a total bore. After school. Something unglam & embarrassing thing happened to me! Gosh! Know what, Yiling up-skirt me all of a sudden when we climbing up the stairs back to thar art room!! Cannot take it... Late for tuition...but it's okay cause end late too. Lots of Amath questions to do...chiong ah!! JYJY!! :) ———————

Mixed feelings...

I have DPA interview @ Ngee Ann Polytechnic tomorrow... I super nervous, but at the same time, happy!
even so, the chances of getting into Ngee Ann is still low...
However, I choose to put my trust in my Lord...
I'll do my very best de!

Shine

Shine

There’s a place you can go
Where your heart is free
There’s a rhythm
That’s right for your soul

Take a breath, find your courage
And make the leap
Cause your feet always know where to go

And you dance and you dance in an endless flow
In the grace of a perfect design
Stepping out of the dark and into the glow
And the whole world will see when you shine
You can shine (shine)
Shine (shine)

There’s a beauty already inside of you
There’s a difference that only you’ll make
Every place that you spin brings you somewhere new
Finding hope every step that you take

And you dance and you dance in an endless flow
In the grace of a perfect design
Stepping out of the dark and into the glow
And the whole world will see when you shine
You can shine (shine)
Shine
(Shine)

Suddenly sparkling bright (shine)
Making a magical light (shine)
You will (shine)
Sisters are there by your side
Love will be your guide

And we dance and we dance in an endless flow
In the grace of a perfect design
Stepping out of the dark and into the glow
The whole world will see when we shine
We will shine (shine)
Shine (shine)

(And we dance and we dance in an endless flow)
Stepping out of the dark and into the glow
(Stepping out of the dark and into the glow)
We will shine (we can shine)
(And we dance and we dance in an endless flow)
Stepping out of the dark and into the glow
(Stepping out of the dark and into the glow)
We will shine (we can shine)
(And we dance and we dance in an endless flow)

On FB's Status Shuffle it says,
"Happy moments,praise God.
Difficult moments,seek God.
Quiet moments,worship God.
Painful moments,trust God.
Every moments,thank God :)"

Indeed, we humans need to have such capabilities to have faith, for He is able!

You just don't get it.

In the end you still don't know why I'm so disappointed in you. I hate people who waste their lives and be negative. Now you just flare up with me. I am not making fun! But you do not know,I don't think you'll ever know. I'm very upset. Now you don't want me to reply or text you. Want me go find Jarrod cause he's better than you!?!? Fine then, I'll respect your decision.

Got a new wallet. Thanks Serene, Belinda, Agnes, Shini and Kun Da for giving me a wallet. I like it a lot a lot!!!!! :))
The wallet was supposedly my my birthday present for this year but since I lost my wallet they gave it to me now. 
Also I really hope I can go to SHINee's first concert in Singapore on 10 September. I want it so badly. Never been to an actual idol concert or any grand concert before... Jarrod is wiling to sponsor as my birthday present this year.  

Birthday Celebration

Ate Seoul Garden with Jarrod this evening as my birthday gift for him. He said it was his first celebration. He keep thanking me. 

Glad that you like. 

Retreat 2011

13/06/11, 2259
Back to the room and reflecting Mark 6:31. I just only have to follow His instructions and He'll sure provide the rest I need. :) However sometimes is hard to do so when you're busy doing something, but God needs ask to talk to Him, fellowship with him, spend a special precious private time with Him. God only require us Christians to have faith in Him and fellowship with Him to be close to Him, but why do we always unable to do it? I always pray to God that I want that special time with Him but I failed, thus I need a kind of willpower!! Today, bus was delayed 90 minutes. Reached the “Lotus Desaru Resort" at about 3 in the afternoon. Rooming with Jie Yantze, but we're in the same apartment as Jie Rachel, Jiahui, Jie Ruiqi and Ruth. Jie Ruiqi and Ruth got the master bed room while Jie Yantze and I got the twin bed room and Jie Rachel and Jiahui got the small room. Even though today's a short day, it was a meaningful one. I got to actually know that one small verse meant a lot if we actually spend time on it just like how Jesus' dicsiples stopped their work and spent quality and quiet time with Jesus. I want that too!! :) 


16/06/11, 0117 
Only now then I want to start writing. 15.06.2011 was a meaningful day where I once again was being reminded of God's presence. It was so heart-warming to know that God so very much love us! Well today is our last night. How I wish I could stay one more day; away from worldly distractions. In the morning Jiahui lost her phone but found it at night after sermon. Turns out that someone took the advantage of our unlocked door to went in and steal and it happens that the person only took stuff that was visible. Thank God that it was found :) Like Ruth I will choose to cling on to my beleive and trust that God will lead me in choosing the right thing that pleases Him!

Just random photos.. :P

Desaru, Malaysia... Here I come!

Going Desaru tomorrow, excited XD
Hope that @ Malaysia, I'm able to buy stuff for people.
And also able to revise during this retreat. 


Hais but need to skip ART for 4days 3nights. Miss Joyce must be angry :P

one paper down

Finished my MT 'O' papers today, hough not that confident, I will leave everything to God. I trust that He knows what's best for me. Skipped Art today, but tomorrow is compulsory.

Don't know love

I'm not in love with anyone! I no longer know what is love, then like that how do I love someone!! MT 'O' Levels are coming, best of luck for I will be sure to score!

Upside down

Things are not going smoothly as it ought to. I just wonder when it can be normal? 

MYE, the only subject that I'm not really studying on: Combine Humanities. I just can't get myself settled down for this subject. I can get pissed with it. Is it the person that I hate or the subject? I don't know, I only know my mind is still filled with you two and I just can't stop. I will wonder if you studied or what so ever. 

My messed up mind

Jarrod was my crush, but I found out later that I was so in love with him. Unfortunately he don't feel the same way as I do...initially. Then come this guy whom we started out purely as math tutor and student friendship, he gradually fell in love with me. I slowly became close with him then without realization he became the subsitute of Jarrod he filled my mind. I know it's wrong to have a subsitute but I don't know why. When Jarrod finally said he like me, I left that person but after that I started to waver. I never thought I will waver. Now two of them are mad in love with me. One is willing to change for me is so thoughtful to me; totally a prince charming type, the other is always making weep for him but never change but my heart and mind is mysteriously attracted to him in the way that my mind is full of him sometimes. What on the earth am I thinking?! I really didn't want this to happen, I really don't. It's all my fault! Now I have stop my contacts with that guy for a while but I can't stop thinking about him! It shouldn't be the way!

Just sent a Pm on Facebook to Jarrod telling him stuff, I wonder if he had read it or not.

Separation

I wanted this separation to really look at how I treat you and I want to know you more first. It was a crush in the beginning, I accepted you so soon that I forgot to think about one factor, do I know you well?

Broke up with Jarrod, it was a decision that I gave the most thought. I knew I had to end this because I'm tired. I needed a break. This date 25/01/11, was supposed to be our eighth month.

Had mixed feelings when I initiated to him on Sunday evening about this. I really don't know what else I could say, so I'm going to say good night.

bored to the max without Jie!

First Day

First day of school sucks!

Goodbye 2010, hello 2011

Goodbye 2010, hello 2011!! :D
Somehow I got a feeling year 2011 is not going to be smooth, I am praying, hoping it isn't true.
The first word I said when it's new year was actually "Fuck You!" OMG right? hais, this isn't a good start!
Countdown at SY's house.
School will only be starting on the 4th of January..cool :)