My messed up mind

Jarrod was my crush, but I found out later that I was so in love with him. Unfortunately he don't feel the same way as I do...initially. Then come this guy whom we started out purely as math tutor and student friendship, he gradually fell in love with me. I slowly became close with him then without realization he became the subsitute of Jarrod he filled my mind. I know it's wrong to have a subsitute but I don't know why. When Jarrod finally said he like me, I left that person but after that I started to waver. I never thought I will waver. Now two of them are mad in love with me. One is willing to change for me is so thoughtful to me; totally a prince charming type, the other is always making weep for him but never change but my heart and mind is mysteriously attracted to him in the way that my mind is full of him sometimes. What on the earth am I thinking?! I really didn't want this to happen, I really don't. It's all my fault! Now I have stop my contacts with that guy for a while but I can't stop thinking about him! It shouldn't be the way!