BaseCamp2013 Devotion Day 1 + Updates

Lord, Father Almighty, it's been a few years every since I started serving you. Ans as I serve I began to slowly forgotten why I started serving you as I get tired and weary, no longer joyful. I served you out of responsibility sake at times but then when I see this coming, I sat down and think back the reason why I wanted to serve and it was because I wanted to have a relationship with you. I know that when I seek you, I can find rest. But the problem is, I have committed a sin like what Martha did. She has knowledge of who you are claims that she believes in you but the actual fact is that we say it at our mouths but we have little faith of you. I find it hard to believe you, the invisible God in my life that I have to take a leap of faith to reach. I admit that I'm timid so I thought if I served you in church everything would be fine. But I was wrong, you are a God that see people heart, not actions. Whenever I served you I could find joy in it as I am spending with you and fellow church mates but when I think about it, this is just spending time with you, not building a close relationship with you. I know this is not enough. First I have to turn from my sinful ways then people can see your Glory in my lives and then other people's lives will then be changed. But I am so helpless when it comes to turning away from my sinful ways, I am always trapped, I need you. 

I know you have a bigger and more beautiful picture for all of us, a great plan and I always like to see immediate changes and gets frustrated easily when things do not go according to what I've planned so I apologize for that. It is not up to me to plan everything so please take this authority away from my hands. what I've planned out is not perfect, but you are. I know when I don't seek you before executing things, I am not pleasing you. So Father, could you remind me constantly that the decision is in your hands and assure me that everything will turn out greater than expected for you are the creator of all things and that I should place my 100% trust in you. 

Father, I am also scared of approaching people about my faith. So, I thought that through my actions people could see what you have done in my lives that they will change but I was wrong. Instead, I am being influenced by the world that I did not live out your glory. I am pretty sure I have missed out countless opportunities to showcase your love and capabilities to the world. I have been in my comfort zone for too long that I've forgotten how to take initiative so please help me shake of this bad habit and step out of my comfort zone to be discipline.Be the  salt & light of this world. 

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Father, Base Camp is round the corner. Preparations are going on, everyone is busy. I am worried but I have to learn to place my trust in you. I am praying for the committees' needs and for my own so please listen to me. 

I prayed that the publicity comm could get the camp shirts and booklet out smoothly and that when announcements are made congregations will be encouraged to sign up and leap of faith to find out their identity with you as base camp is coming back to your own base and be equipped. But before we let the campers be equipped could you prepare us, prepare our hearts for this camp that we will serve with great joy and wholeheartedly for you? 

Let our speaker, Glenn be filled with your holy spirits as he speak for you Lord that we would learn a lot from his teachings and sharings. May his words plant a seed in our hearts and grow deeper in your words. Our need for a daoshis in each group is in important as we need someone more knowledgeable to lead the group during discussions along with group leaders so that the dynamics of the team would be great. 

Give the logistics team a foresight to see what any possibilities of sudden hiccups and that we will be able to find solutions. Also, it's the first time Isabel and I and doing logistics so please guide us well with the help of YuJuin & Terence. Let us be able to work properly together so that we could also play a part in supporting the camp. 

Give program comm wisdom to plan out a suitable timetable and activities for the camp and that the camp would run smoothly. Let the committee members be spiritually grounded in their service for you. 

Allow prayer comm members be able to have the knowledge and wisdom to plan out devotions and praise for campers to experience a personal time of worship with you. Pray that Reflection Time would turn out smoothly and that campers will experience great things through reflections. Let Praise night be smooth and the praise teams will work out smoothly. Let testimonies of each worship sessions be in Glory of your Name. 

Lastly, for the congregations to prepare their hearts for this camp that is all so new to them. That they will be spiritually renewed. I sincerely pray that the lost sheeps would come back for a camp like this to get back into where they belong. 

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So many things have happened and I am juggling with so much things. I only can say, I AM NOT THAT STRONG! I need you God, I dont have the energy to hang on. I dont get what school is teaching, as I get it but not literally. Also, even though NYPCF will continue but I dont know whats gonna happen next I could only see what you have planned for us. I thank you for the newcomers. Hope that they will keep coming. Lord, you are a provider please continue to provide for NYPCF.

I want pray for a balance in my life, everything is so crazy now in my head. Clear my head so that I could arranged everything. I want you to take control and teach me how to manage. 

A Sincere Prayer.

All that I am, all that I have 

I lay them down before you, oh Lord 

All my regrets, all my acclaims 

The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours 

Things in the past, things yet unseen 

Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true 

All of my heart, alll of my praise 

My heart and my hands are lifted to you 

Lord, I offer my life to you 

Everything I've been through 

Use it for your glory 

Lord I offer my days to you 

Lifting my praise to you 

As a pleasing sacrifice 

Lord I offer you my life 

What can we give 

That you have not given? 

And what do we have 

That is not already yours? 

All we possess 

Are these lives we're living 

That's what we give to you, Lord 

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Heavenly Father, I sincerely come before you and ask you to strengthen my faith. I do not only just want to know about you, I WANT TO KNOW YOU! I want my heart and my soul be lifted up too you. I want to live for you glory. Whenever I fall short of anything oh Lord, help me to see what you need me to see, so that I do things as you please. I know I lack in confidence, and I know you like to use weakness for your glory. So would you Lord? I want to have a child-like faith, not just that; I desire to be a child that adores her Father who is so great so loving so faithful till the end. "To have like a mustard seed...", Ive heard so much times but somehow it just seems so difficult. 

As Im writing this down, I pray that as I turn back to see this again, you would have would miracles on me and that I display your glory in my life. I want to be a living testimony of someone who lacks in so much and yet takes pride in whatever I do. 

I always fear to pray in crowds or even pray for someone else. Help me fully trust in you whenever Im lost for words. Give me the wisdom to speak. I want to take this to another level whereby prayer is my way of praising you. 

My Father, My Lord Almighty, here I am telling what I want. I lay everything down before you Lord. You know me and yet to know you. You know what Im thinking, what I fear. I pray because I know I need to. Teach me how to communicate. Father, you will is important to me. I want you to be the center of my life. I cant hide anything from you because you are my Creator. A God like you, so willing to stretch out your hands to embrace me, what more could I ask of you Lord. Whenever I dont know who to tell my troubles to you, I want to turn to you, I want to seek you. 

Lord, Im such unworthy and yet you...I only can offer my life to you and use it for your will. I tell you what I want even though you already know. This is because I want to talk to you. I feel miserable whenever I cannot fully hand you my life, my trust to you. Is this why sometimes I cant hear you? If this is the case, ease my worries and assure my soul that Im in good hands. 

For this I pray in Jesus' name, Amen. 

Our First Date ^.^

Went out with that special someone today to Plaza Singapura to catch a movie together hehe Iron Man 3. 

After all the secrecy and suspense, I got the gift that he's been hiding from me..AHHHH Oh my it's Polaroid! I'm really happy but hope he don't spend too much the next time ^^ Wanted to take the photo with him using the first film but well.. next time then :( 

Really grateful for today..I'm a happy girl...

Recently school has been overwhelming that I almost can't breathe! Really thankful for the people around who showed care, especially him...

Hais, my phone is still suspended..stupid dad..just when is he gonna get my line back!?!?! But then again..it's so much quieter that he doesn't come annoy me..He's been a little too much?! Always threaten me with pocket money and this kind of thing..tsk

First week of school...

First week of school, as a year 2 Space & Interior Design student, I only have one thing to say; RIDICULOUS!! 

Workloads are really really crazy. Some of the assignments are so 'special' that it makes no sense to me. Well, maybe I'm still in into this whole situation? Lecturers said that design this kind of thing, understand means understand one..oh please...

Assignments given
D-1: Sean made us find one designer's chair and describe it and also to sketch out a chair we like the most in our homes and it must not be from IKEA..not that hard ^^ Nirit asked us to take 5 photos of building structures then sketch them out focusing on the beams and columns..well first day wasn't that hard 
D-2: Studio...Prof Kong's lecturer(Philosophy so chim yet so meaningful) WeiLing gave us such a weird assignment; the title is called "verb+object". We are required to go to Pierce Reservoir to take 3 videos of different views of an moving object. Then we have to slow mo the videos for analysis purpose. Video must be played simultaneously...HOW?! Also, from the video, select 20 frames out for printing. 
D-3: Weiling's class was cancelled so yay! Go to the reservoir then!! ^^ Rushed back for Ariel's class. Each person was to choose a subject and an age group from the bag. I've gotten Beauty, Health/ Fitness for ages between 38-42. Basically we have to create an event to sort of promote our already existed brand/ product. Also made us do a journal, by researching on our own product. 
D-4: Wayne's module was quite redundant. In class he made us draw 5 characters of our likings, it can be from our imaginations but it must not be something that have already existed. He ended our class by asking us to make this drawings into 3D by using 3D max..SERIOUSLY?! We don't even know how...then need to think of a storyline for these 5 characters...retarded...
D-5: Alan's class...he showed us works our seniors did..I'm dumbfounded!!! Too great already! We have to reedit our furniture we did last year, design a whole new furniture layout plan using the previous floor plans used for YEP with a storyline. I told him my directions on the scheme and he thinks that it's not bad too. 

Everything by NEXT WEEK!!! Can't Design students' life be any better?? 

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Still have a quite close relationship with God which is something I'm pleased with and I hope to keep it up. Though I started with the book of Romans, I didn't regret it cause it talks a lot about faith which is something that is very important. I want my walk with Him to be close. Well, that someone is helping me too. 

Surprisingly, I'm getting closer to CFers when I thought they would just be a bunch of people I meet in FOC camp and that's it but it is not like that! They are a bunch of happy people that I can also grow spiritually together with. 

Too much stuff for a day..shall end it here..TTFN ^.^

FOC 2013

Being a programmer with QiHua was fun but stressful...all the plannings and meet ups. We both are also busy with our school work. Well, really gotten closer with her since the first day of FOC meeting. When last year I joined FOC camp for the very first time, I didn't even interact much with anyone. Second time FOC camp already being asked to be in the committee. 

Actually I have a lot to say but well, I wanna just keep it simple here. 

There's only one thing I can say about this camp; FRUITFUL. 
我的五饼二鱼

Rediscovery, a form of rebirth

Today I decided to blog is because I wanted to remember this moment that I found myself finally opening up;  to something I've always hoped nobody touches it and I'll burst. 

Someone I asked me to really sit down calm myself and answer to myself what is God's love to me, personally; how he has brought me through, what He is to me and how much He has done for me. 

What is God's love to me? Well, He never abandoned me even though I resented Him for taking away lives that means dearly to me. He sent His angels(friends and family) to be with me, guiding me so that I won't turn bad. And yes, I wasn't alone because of Him. If it wasn't for the angels He sent me, I would have been uncontrollable and wild and a lot more things that I couldn't have imagine. He kept me in His arms well. It got too well that at times I take it for granted that, He owed me. In fact, it's the opposite. We all owed Him. We took His One and Only Son to the cross. He loved us so much that He was willing to give His Son to us and die in our place. His unending love and mercy for us, is so great that whenever I think of it I fear Him, but it made me love Him even more. 

Mummy allowed God to work in her and has done so many things that glory God, that was also why I couldn't accept it when He took mummy away. In the past, even though I said I forgive God because mummy's in good place now, I think I never really did mean it which it became the darker side of me. It's on the surface that I wasn't mad at Him, I think. That's why there will be times that I'll be really exhausted serving Him and my emotions will get out of control. Mummy's last words became a painful shadow of mine, it felt so heavy and being perfectionist is tiring. 

That someone today did enlightened me, which I should have long ago, told me if I really had let God, I should be able to ask Him take control of me and use me for His wonderful plans. I shouldn't let mummy's last words burdened me like that as it will affect my relationship with God and my service in church. She asked me, "Have you reborn-ed in Christ " I hesitated. Know why? Cause I was lost at what I'm doing, that it made me unsure whether I'll end up in heaven with God. I told her that if God were to take me now, I will be so dead, because he's gonna have so much to say about me, my wrongdoings. We read through John 3:1-21 together and gone through the lesson of "Rebirth" and many of times we Christians are like the Pharisees, we think that as long as we go law by law, it'll be the key to heaven. In fact, we are dead wrong about it. If we're not reborn, we can't enter the kingdom of God. Reborn meaning a changed new person, not as in physically of course. Changed person doesn't mean you won't sin, we human still do. In fact, the moment we are born, we already are a sinner, by confessing yourself as a sinner, you are declaring that you need God to purify you, let Him in you and work things right. 

Many people know still don't believe, that think that its absurd, well I don't  I know He is real. He worked in me, guided me and love me. He molded me into a person of great ability. He put me through tests so that I get stronger. To others, these are setbacks but it really isn't. This are things that help me grow into someone that can glorify God. 

I know if I really have to change, I need to set my priorities right. She also said, if you're gonna be a leader at what you are serving or whatsoever, you got know who you are doing it for and why? If not people that are following you can't see what you want them to see. Just like how I'm serving as a vocalist in church, if I don't  sing out God's life in me to bring the congregations to Him as well, how are the congregations going to feel them? They will not know who they are worshiping, show them through you, your life. Everyone is a testimony, we have a purpose in life, it's to glorify that Almighty God who is merciful and gracious with us all. He's done so much for me, in order for me to grow, how could I forget that?! 

All this enlightened will be helpful for me always and forever. Plus recently, I have to plan out a Prayer and Praise session for the youth, it's about recommitment. If I myself didn't fully commit, I am in no position to ask them to, because I'll be leading them in wrong directions. I want to remember this important lesson since I'm a very forgetful person, I had to take them down. Taking burdens of my shoulder can be hard, but I know with God's help ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. <3

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I shall go back to do my Prayer and Praise lo...need finish up soon. Plus I have meetups with my secondary school BFFs.. chows.. ^^

My Own Birthday Gift

Finished scanning the photos in but not all I've resized...This is one of the photos taken...Spent 200/300 can't remember as an 18th birthday gift for myself...hmmm worth it I guess..Since it's the thing I've always wanted since young..Even though it's not a professional family photoshoot, at least I myself got one! 

Is it just me or is everybody drifting away? I feel that we aren't that close anymore..RP have their RP conversation while JC have their JC conversation...like I dont know...maybe Im just too sensitive plus I guess I didn't have the time to go understand them. Hais, I don't understand a single thing they were talking..

Im quite stressed up about my course..I really can't wait for semester break..honestly, even if this isn't what Im going to do in the future, I will still persevere..It may be of use. 

The last assignment from Wayne...have no idea how to start, mentally broke down when I took that assignment from him. Of all the 9 designs, this was the most difficult. Make a model out from the picture shown?! Then take a photo which matches the picture given by him. The weightage of the photo is 80% while the model is only 20%... This due this coming Friday, and I have yet to start...IM DOOMED!!! 

First modelmaking assignments with everything needed. I know its not very nice but I tried my best. Wayne didn't say anything about the grade...hais.really wanna know my grades...say he next week then give the last assignment of the semester, say get a good rest this week...Indeed, need a good rest...had not had a good rest for the entire week...Need a physical & mental rest...

Stopping working for the time being, really cannot take it anymore...oh my...Semester break, please come soon... and i really hope the assignment from Wayne wouldn't be that difficult

Didn't see doctor I let my illness heal by itself...this time it took a long time...one week plus..wow...hmmm...just cough, no fever..sian...really want to have a big bomb sickness...

Recently, went back to WSSS to visit Ms Chia...the art students are giving her lots of problem nia....jio people to give Ms Chia surprise in the end in the one who don't know how to organize things

I miss him...

Yesterday in church, when we had eye contact, my heart didn't even skip a beat! It really only goes to show TL took the entire heart of mine...or at least i feel neutral about Amos now. 

Really really miss him...was crazy to even go out and find him...wanted to call him but I hung up...I won't mind if im forged to watch over him from far but at least I get to see him...

You aren't there when I needed you...its okay..but please say you need me?